Dollar Bill

A green garbage bag arced out of the dumpster that stood ten feet down the alley and landed with an aluminum crunch. It was soon followed by a gnome of a man dressed in a red vest and a worn cap. He grabbed the sack of cans and turned in my direction. He stopped in his tracks, surprised to see someone standing at the end of the alley.

I immediately turned to head back to the apartment. I heard the jostling of pop cans and little feet running up behind me.

“You there,” said the grizzled little man as he grasped my elbow. “Gimme a dollar.”

I tried to ignore him, but he grew more insistent.

“Gimme a dollar, I need a dollar.”
“I don’t have it. Sorry,” I said.
“A dollar, a dollar, a dollar, a measly little dollar.”
“Really, I don’t have it. I’m broke.”
“Dollar, dollar, folly-dolly-dollar.”

Exasperated, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the forty-three cents in change I had left over from my chocolate run for Noel and handed it to him.

He stood examining the change in the palm of his hand as I continued back to the apartment. He whipped the change at me, nailing me in the back of the head with a quarter.

“A dollar, a dollar, a measly little dollar is all I ask.”

I ignored him as best I could as he danced around me.

“Dolly-dolly-doll-doll-dollar, paper-paper-greenback, greenie-greenie-greenback. Gimme a buck or your shit out of luck.”

Fortunately, it’s not very far from the PlaYboy Liquor Store to mine and Noel’s apartment and I was soon at the front door. I slid my key into the lock and quickly turned it, accidentally breaking my key in the lock.

“Lucky-lucky-bucky-boy. All for a buck, all for a buck.”

I stepped over to the intercom and punched in the code for my apartment.

“Hello?” said Noel.
“It’s me, let me in.”
“It’s me, I need a dollar, just a dollar, just a dollar,” said the annoying little man simultaneously.
“What? Who is this?” asked Noel.
“Lucius. My key broke.”
“Lucky-lucky-loosh. Gotta buck, Chuck?”
“What’s going on?” asked Noel.
“Just let me in,” I hissed.
“Just a dollar, d-d-dollar.”

Noel finally buzzed the front door open. I jumped inside and quickly pulled the door closed behind me.

“Dollar bill, dollar bill,” said the old man who then licked the door glass and walked away.